What's in a Name?

What’s in a Name?

When I married my husband I made the shocking decision not to change my last name to his. This decision, which I did not imagine causing controversy, has caused several women to question my dedication to my partner, my femininity, and quite possibly my sanity. To be honest, I chose to keep my name for two reasons. One, I find the act of going through the rigmarole of name change completely un-appealing. (In order for a woman to change her name, she must pay for a new driver’s license, contact half a dozen people and order a new social security card.) My second reason for maintaining my name is for a sense of identity. It does not make sense in the modern world for a woman to surrender the name she has had since birth because she decided to get married. I have two degrees under my maiden name and quite a few experiences associated with it. Why must I give that up?
One of the opponents of my “crazy” decision not to take my husband’s name said, “How will people from high school know you’ve gotten married?” GASP. What if they didn’t know? Obviously, anyone who knows me closely will know my marital status. For those I don’t know well enough for them to have that knowledge, why do I care?
Another opponent told me that it is tradition to change your name to your husband’s. It is. However, lots of things have been tradition at one time. For instance, it was once tradition to pay a man for marrying your daughter. (In some ways, this still remains with the assumption that the wife’s family will pay for the marriage.) Slavery was also once a tradition in America. Does the fact we have always done something, or have been doing it for a long while make it justified? I don’t think it does.
The original reason for changing names when you got married to your husband’s was so you could be identified as his, as property. Women are no longer thought of as property so the changing of the name should be stricken as a tradition in my opinion.
I should clarify that I have no problem with women changing their name when they get married. It is an independent decision. I do, however, have a problem with being treated as socially leprous because I have decided to keep mine. When I entered into marriage, I chose to publicly pledge myself to my husband, and he chose to do the same for me. We love each other and have entered into an adventure together. Neither of us though, chose to abandon ourselves or our identities for each other. My taking his name simply for the sake of it makes as much sense as him taking mine!